The Many Ways We are Connected
Without daily personal contact, how do we nurture our families, communities, and relationships during uncertain times and physical distancing? How do we build our sense of connection to each other?
For a community like the CEC that thrives on personal contact and the close relationships which are forged by proximity and shared values, finding creative and meaningful ways to maintain our connections are vital. We hope that all the communications you are receiving from the CEC, as well as our presence on various social media platforms, are helping you and your child(ren) to feel assured that we are thinking about you and sending you our love, care and support, albeit from a distance.
When I ponder how children are making sense of the changes in their lives, relationships and routines necessitated by the pandemic, my training in human development reminds me of several important things. As adults in the culture of the United States, we typically have a measure of assurance based on our experiences that unsettling time periods will pass. Young children, however, have not lived long enough to put this time period in context, let alone make sense of why everything is so different. Older children may understand the basic facts, but like younger children, do not have enough life experience to feel confident that the “normal times” with friends, going on outings, and feeling a sense of safety and predictability will return. They must wonder about what their extended communities of friends, family, and school will be like in the future. They may feel a loss of connection to people and places that are important to them.
Children look to adults for information, comfort, and reassurance, even more so in times of great change. Surely you must know the answers to questions such as “When will you go back to work?” “Why can’t we go to the CEC?” and “Why can’t my friends come over for my birthday?” When you do not know the answers, how can you still provide reassurance and foster connections and security? How we respond to children’s voiced or unvoiced questions and concerns is incredibly important at this time.
Even though there is much that is unknown at this time, and the “when” questions cannot be reliably answered just yet, we can support children by sharing what we do know. Children can be reassured when trusted adults provide age-appropriate information. First, it is best to find out what your child already knows or wants to know and then carefully create your response, avoiding information that can be alarming and/or unnecessary. (See links below)
Above all else, children simply need to know that the love and connection you share does not change and that they will be safe. Beyond that, children are typically adaptable beings who are capable of adopting new routines and ways of living in the world as long their basic needs for security and unconditional love are met. Most adults and children thrive on feeling connected to those they love, and one of the most valuable things we can offer to our children— now and always — is an intimate connection that affirms that the love we feel for each other does not stop in uncertain times, but in fact grows fuller and deeper with each passing day. Remembering to provide children reassuring messages and affirmations of your love, support, and caring strength not only helps your child feel secure, but continues to strengthen the important and precious parent-child connection.
Ten Habits to Strengthen Parent-Child Relationship (Psychology Today)
